Corona Can’t Keep Me Down

My short term memory is affected now. I truly don’t know what day of the week it is, and I am so incredibly grateful for my cell phone which will tell me everything I need to know…

Oldest child was released from captivity today, as she’s been fever free for 24+ hours. At first, there was great celebration.

Then, the fighting began.

Yesterday, these children stood at opposite ends of the staircase, reaching toward each other like they were missing one half of their souls.

Today, they tried to banish those souls back to hell.

Well, I wish they’d have banished something.

Small child has been running on sugar and adrenaline for the last two days (or as she’d say, the last past two days)… I forgot she made herself a sore throat drink the other day. Ingredients?

Honey

Water

Cinnamon and sugar

More honey

She drank it.

A lot of it. She smuggled the pitcher (which was 1/4 full!) into her bedroom where she cozied up with a laptop and Paddington 2, which she swears will make me cry SO MUCH and I must watch it ASAP.

I told her I will later.

Spoiler: I might not.

Big child has Monopoly out in the dining room table, hoping for a game, but I’m kind of over capitalism at this point, so I may maintain a dictatorship and tell her I will play but only if I start out owning Park Place and Boardwalk, and they both already have hotels.

Oh wait, that’s possibly still just American capitalism…

We needed to escape these prison walls today, so we crammed ourselves into a much smaller prison with four wheels and drove around town. We didn’t stop anywhere, except my parents’ driveway, where we rolled windows down and called them on the cell phone. They stood in the doorway and we talked on speaker phone.

For about 15 glorious minutes, we saw proof that other life is out there.

We drove to the airport, where there were zero regular airplanes, but one life flight plane being prepared to transport a COVID-19 patient to a larger facility. Eep…

We pretended we could fly our own airplanes, and big child made small child jealous because she’s actually controlled an airplane before. In the air.

I like to take these moments and remind my children that their grandfather will gladly give them some control over the airplane, but that he’s also completely giddy to show them a power off stall.

Yes.

Power. Off.

There’s no adrenaline rush quite like your pilot turning off the airplane while thousands of feet in the air. My dad assures me that this is perfectly safe, and then he chuckles at my fear.

That’s winning at parenting.

Anyway, my list of available TV shows on Hulu is dwindling, so it may be time to switch to books for a while… Though the chatterboxes make that incredibly difficult.

Both children have been amazing at doing school work this week. I’m impressed, but also hoping they fail miserably at this because any semblance of success and they will believe that we could home school regularly and I just know I would not survive that.

I’m barely surviving as it is …

I know there’s some humanity left, and I am so encouraged by the beauty in my kids, but my addled brain can’t handle a ton more isolation.

We have, however, survived one full week!!

If anyone would like to pull up a chair in my front lawn, I’ll gladly sit at the kitchen window at chat with you. It meets the six feet distance requirements AND I don’t have to clean the house!

Win/win right?

Until tomorrow, end transmission.

Today was fun, full of fungus and blood.

Turns out, small child is legitimately obsessed with mushrooms! She wants them in every meal. She wants them AS a meal. I’m completely terrified of the consequences tomorrow when she realizes she doesn’t have any more mushrooms…

Please say a prayer for me

I also had a scare when I changed out my cortisol pump site today. It has an auto injector, so I just pull back to lock it in place, and then set it on my stomach, squeeze, and it inserts the cannula for me… Usually a completely painless event.

Today, that was not the case. It hurt like a MOTHER…. Which tells me I’ve hit a vein. It has to be replaced.

So I pull the darn thing out, expecting a bit of blood, but instead had a full blown geyser.

And the only human in the house who can save me from bleeding out is small child. Who has headphones on.

So I’m screaming my fool head off for her to bring to me the coveted toilet paper to stop the bleeding. But I don’t want her to panic either. “Mommy needs the toilet paper NOW, child! I’m bleeding!! But I’m okay! But I need the toilet paper because I’m bleeding!”

Thankfully it only took one square to sufficiently stop my impending death. But that’s one square of toilet paper we will never get back. It broke my heart.

After this massive trauma, small child went right back to her computer, okay my computer which has been commandeered for school work, so she could email her sister, who is still banished to the dungeon.

Tomorrow, she will earn her sweet release.

Neither child was terribly concerned by my near complete loss of blood. They had the internet.

And small child was about to have mushrooms.

We did have one other major adventure today. We made use of the telephone and ordered delivery from our favorite pizza place in town. They make killer Stromboli, and I was desperate to not cook. I really believe it was this that saved my life today.

I also learned that while it is not sacreligous to drink coffee from a Teavana mug, it IS sacreligous to put milk in your tea instead of tea in your milk… Also probably saved my life today.

End transmission.

We went to Disney World today! It’s been a dream of ours since, well, the small child told us it was. But, alas, airline tickets are always over priced, and I don’t do crowds. So today, with all of us in quarantine, we finally went…

Okay, we watched some videos on YouTube and pretended. You can find those here: https://www.romper.com/p/while-disney-world-disneyland-are-closed-take-your-kids-on-virtual-rides-22622893

One of the best things to come out of this quarantine period is the plethora of digital outreach! We went to the zoo in Cincinnati this week, Disney World in Florida (California? I don’t know… I don’t keep track), and we listened to a friend of mine read stories in her living room. Also, via YouTube so we don’t share germs. Sharing is definitely not caring in all cases!

Oldest is pretty sick today, the fever is gone, but so is everything in her stomach. Ew. Good thing we bought barf bags last road trip…

Smallest is just gross today. You don’t want to know. Girls are gross.

Small child and I watched a great movie on Amazon today, Troop Zero. Wow. In this world of chaos, we needed a kid named Christmas, and a kid named Hell-no to warm our hearts!!

I finished a book today – Where the Crawdads Sing. Oh goodness. I don’t like books with too much hype. They disappoint me. This did not. If you need a beautiful, human story, please read this book!

But not from your local library. They’re closed.

Libby and Overdrive are excellent solutions for free ebooks and audiobooks from your local library though, because librarians are superheroes.

Seriously.

It’s beautiful today.

Not a lot of humor today, but definitely gratitude.

I’m tired.

But our kitchen is full, it’s a gorgeous day, and my husband is sleeping…

Go figure.

Oh, I also ate Nutter Butter cookies. Heehee…..

We are surviving this, and we are rocking it!

Though on payday, I’m risking the otherwise germy restaurant industry and ordering delivery. Living on the wild side!😉

Sweet ending to a beautiful day, though … In my banishment from the basement, I’ve been completely displaced from all things “mine.” My bed, my clothes, my couch, my TV, my snoring husband… So I’ve been sleeping with small child. She’s tiny. But fierce. Last night, she woke in her sleep concerned about something on the dog and started picking at my side before she woke up and giggled, then went back to sleep.

So tonight, I was fully prepared to relocate to the couch.

Pillows stocked, living room cleaned up, just missing a blanket, then she climbed up.

Why are you here, child? Why?

I just want to sleep wherever you are, Mama.

Dagnabit… I’m sleeping in her bed again. Weird dreams and all.

I hope she isn’t hungry in her sleep…

End transmission.

Time has lost meaning. I am in and out of sleep as I need it. I received a roommate today. She has also been banished for not being up to par. There goes my couch.

We watched the newest Jumanji and I went to sleep. I did get two empty laundry baskets sometime today which is great because thats how mamy loads I had left…..had. two baskets, two new loads…..

not sure if we should start Jason, Freddy, or Mr. Myer movies. Maybe start with some evil dead, not sure Natalie is old enough to get the humor though. Anyway, I am weak with sore throat, cough, and some wonder flem production from my lungs so I may actually just go back to sleep.

If you know me in real life, you know I have a chronic illness… I have a condition called adrenal insufficiency. It took years to get my diagnosis, and when I did, I was knocking at death’s door.

It took a few more years to find a new normal that allowed me to get back in the work force, even just part time.

Six months ago, I started working again. Prior to that, I’d spent about three years fairly isolated…

… See where I’m going here?

It took me the full six months I’ve worked so far to reacclimate to socialization. I’d been conditioned to my own environment where I relied on others for transportation, healthcare, grocery shopping, and I’d forgotten what it was like to really interact with people.

It was really difficult to get used to being part of a team again. My interactions had been limited to online support groups where there was a lot of over sharing, and a lot of bluntness I hadn’t been used to before.

My husband says I’m very well versed in passive aggressive.

When I emerged from my dark desolation, I realized I’d forgotten how to “people.” I’d forgotten how to talk with people who were going to see you every single day. I was awkward and weird, and over shared, and cried at everything.

It was really difficult to adjust back to being part of society.

I still have days where I feel like I’m a fish out of water, or that my accommodations are too much, or that I’m dead weight.

What we are now experiencing, as a whole world, is that isolation that nearly breaks a person. But we are seeing it on a grand scale. We are afraid of what the virus means for our health, our finances, our jobs. We yearn for human contact and it’s only day four. We have three weeks of no school here, as of this point. Three weeks of no work.

Who knows how long before it’s safe to go grocery shopping, if I catch any illness it can be devastating to my body, and the local healthcare system is not equipped to manage my care AND our sudden influx of coronavirus. My husband and one of our daughters have the same condition, adrenal insufficiency. The flu, strep, food poisoning, all can wipe us out.

So for us, others with compromised immune systems, and those over 65 years old, we do not know how long this isolation will last.

The internet is amazing for connectivity. We can call, video chat, follow social media, but none of this makes up for the in person socialization most of us crave.

I’m an introvert and I still need people time!

I’m sure this isolation won’t last three years, like my illness caused for me. But for people who aren’t used to this, it’s sure going to feel like it…

What happens when we emerge back into the world, forever changed by our time apart? Will we remember how to be together? Will we remember that the body in front of us houses a real person with real feelings?

Will we be awkward and strange, or will we beam with joy and let the love overflow?

Who knows.

But I want everyone to think about how we come out of this. Social isolation is no joke. It’s hard core and difficult and stressful. It will test your resolve, it will feed your depression, and it will beat you down.

So please, find a lifeline. Find a way to keep yourself grounded through all this. Find a way to protect your heart and your humanity.

And remember, we may be isolated, but we are isolated together.

*cross posted on Spoons and Adrenals

It’s St Paddy’s Day, and we greeted it in style. No leprechaun here, only a 102° fever. Yup. Sick kiddo. Luckily the otherwise healthy one.

I was up most of the night rechecking her temperature, which at one point may have cooked an egg for me, but I figured that her forehead wasn’t big enough, and I didn’t want to get food on the sheets…

She felt much better this morning, though still had a fever. After calling the clinic and the ER, we were told that she wouldn’t meet the CDC testing requirements, which surprised me because she’s a really smart kid. Very good at taking tests. Just, apparently, not this kind.

She’s now banished to the basement with her Dad, who still doesn’t feel very good either. Good bonding time for them. They plan to watch horror movies together, because the world as it is isn’t scary enough for them.

I’m perfectly content to watch things far less frightening, like Frozen 2 for the hundredth time. Though, come to think of it, the whole Bohemian Rhapsody kickback scene is pretty scary …

A friend offered to add to her Sam’s Club list for us today, so I sent an unusual collection of items, with the understanding that there was no guarantee of everything being available. She said they got half, and it’s quite an eclectic collection of things… If only she could see my regular grocery cart!

Eclectic is totally my jam. And I do it well.

Caitlin yelled at me a lot, quite upset that despite a low fever (99.6) and cough, she wasn’t sick enough to be banished to the basement. She checked her temperature every 5 minutes for a full hour, and screamed about it being too low…

Mommy must be pretty scary, too.

She’s now contentedly drawing on her own. To be honest, I placated her with roasted potatoes. She’s pretty easy to please when it comes down to it.

In the spirit of the holiday, I made corned beef, fried cabbage, and of course, roasted potatoes. It was delicious, though entirely devoid of color.

I had to get a second helping of corned beef. Not because it was amazing, but because the dog ate half of it when I stepped away for the pepper. Jerk.

It’s been a frustrating day for me, realizing that the magnitude of this dumb virus means that we are high risk, but not enough for testing to be made available.

Healthcare workers in our area are doing the best they can, and for that I’m grateful. But the bigger picture is that we are just not prepared. There aren’t enough tests for everyone who needs them.

In case you don’t know, we are high risk. You can read more about that here: http://www.spoonsandadrenals.wordpress.com

It’s a beautiful day today, though, and my kids are stable. Not getting any sicker. Fingers crossed it’s just the flu. Odds are, anyway.

End transmission.

Note from the basement.

Never did get any sleep before my training but oh well it’s my night off. Got to work to find out we are closed for the next two weeks and in addition to only working two days a week, my training was cancelled. So ya, not just tonight off… Don’t work again until Friday.

Stopped by the store earlier for some of Sarah’s panic items. It was crazy out there, I could have wandered the store all day laughing to myself but it was too hot. Ended up getting couple loaves of bread, couple gallons milk, and some eggs.

They do not appear to carry Everclear, don’t judge me it’s 99% alcohol and I am not sure how many have realized this yet. Got home and brought the groceries in, Sarah is beyond over the separation. She told me to just come in the front door so I did. Again she talked, and talked, and talked. Good thing I’m a listener cause she is definitely a talker.

Went down stairs and fell asleep watching 28 weeks later. Woke up to pee and cleared my throat and almost instantly got a message “you up?” She came down and talked some more. I worked on cleaning up some of my hobby stuff in the corner that never got cleaned up after the rearrange. After about an hour she went back upstairs to keep an eye on the oldest who now has a fever.

I have realized that the whole by the time your 30(something) you should have a box of random cables is something I seem to take to serious. I have enough random cables to get like 10 29 year olds started on their box.

Oh, and keyboards

And mouses

And whatever all this crap is…

There’s also a lot of stuff just laying around…

Today was successful. Ben got a lot of laundry done, so now the upstairs is an obstacle course of laundry baskets. Double bonus!

The kids are run down, but I’m sure it’s just stress, and disruption in routine. Nobody needs more routine than an ADHD/anxiety kid, and this Mama can barely spell routine … R. O. U. Teen???

My brother sent up some Trader Joe’s coffee for me, so that’s basically Heaven in a mug (which happens to be a mermaid mug, thanks to my bestest friend Katie)…

I got to see my parents, though briefly and from about 12 feet away. Good to have confirmation we are all still alive. My parents look amazingly the same, while I’m now down 11 pounds and clearly wasting away to nothing. I ate an Oreo to balance the universe.

I’m pretty sure there was no yelling today, which is no small victory, and if you smell something off coming from our neighborhood, it isn’t us. We all bathed. You’d have thought water was in short supply given the reluctance of the small ones, but I like smelling like Vanilla Bean Noel in March.

There’s corned beef in the Crock-Pot so we can fully celebrate St Paddy’s Day tomorrow, the schedule calls for lots of potatoes and Darby O’Gill and the little people. Unless the banshee scares me. She used to…

At any rate, had a lovely chat with Natalie’s teacher, making her rounds to ensure that every student and their families have what they need through this. What a wonderful woman she is, and we are so blessed to have her!

If every day is like today (hack…cough…hairball…) Then this quarantine won’t be so bad. Pretty sure it will be nice, warm walking weather tomorrow. If we see you out, we will be sure to cross the street to avoid you 😉

Notes from the basement.

Had to cook for myself this morning. Opened a can of ravioli and put it on the wood stove. As a note you may need to stir it regularly but the bottom of the food stack was hot while the top was meh. Had to break quarantine to get the wifi working on the fire stick for the kids, I hope this offers some sanity for Sarah. Speaking of Sarah, I can tell she misses me already. While I was free she talked to me non-stop, she needs an adult. Grabbed some supplies and went back down to the dungeon. Watched a movie and went to bed. Woke up and went to get some milk to go with my hydrocortisone and it was frozen. Figured as it was next to the freeze. Grabbed a dew from the bottom……yup frozen. Damn fridge is at 4, turned it down to 2. This thing really works. Moving some laundry now then maybe a movie. I have training at 1300 so I should probably go back to sleep at some point. Hope the milk thaws soon.

I would like to point out that unthaw is the same damn thing as refreeze.

Quarantine Day Two: AKA the longest day

We are all still alive, though there’s some bumps and bruises and the neighbors may soon need ear plugs. Lots of unhappiness here today. And wasted food.

Pretty sure we need an economics lesson. May be making “funny money” soon and forcing the kids to buy their own meals for some forced perspective.

Either that, or I’ll hand them each a can of Boyardee and a spoon and send them to their rooms.

Ben is separated from us and I wish I could trade him places. We might all live a bit longer.

Schools are closed for three weeks, so we have our minimum survival goal. I think we can do it, but it may get touchy…

Natalie made salad dressing today and has been eating salad all day. Caitlin decided to slice a cucumber and then ignore it completely until it was all dried out. Different types 🤷

I’m still trying to stay on the weight watchers wagon, but it may be contributing to my excess stress … Used an emergency injection this morning and lived, so that’s a win.

If random goodies ever show up on our porch, it would be a miracle. My parents are dropping off a load of groceries tomorrow. I feel like they disappeared. They were gone 2.5 weeks and now it will be 2 more at least before I see them again. I may not recognize them… They’ll be old and grey and I’ll be skinny. 🤣🤣

Trying hard to maintain a sense of humor, though the funniest thing is really that my kids think it’s funny to sit on the floor and fart as loud as they can. Yes, I’m sure they’re not boys. Don’t ever let anyone tell you girl farts don’t stink.

We have a large supply of library books on hand, and if I can kick my Facebook-scrolling addiction, we will read them all.

Follow my page the YA Librarian for book reviews.

Looking forward to seeing you all on the flip side of this. I’m thinking we will all need a big party 😉