If you know me in real life, you know I have a chronic illness… I have a condition called adrenal insufficiency. It took years to get my diagnosis, and when I did, I was knocking at death’s door.
It took a few more years to find a new normal that allowed me to get back in the work force, even just part time.
Six months ago, I started working again. Prior to that, I’d spent about three years fairly isolated…
… See where I’m going here?
It took me the full six months I’ve worked so far to reacclimate to socialization. I’d been conditioned to my own environment where I relied on others for transportation, healthcare, grocery shopping, and I’d forgotten what it was like to really interact with people.
It was really difficult to get used to being part of a team again. My interactions had been limited to online support groups where there was a lot of over sharing, and a lot of bluntness I hadn’t been used to before.
My husband says I’m very well versed in passive aggressive.
When I emerged from my dark desolation, I realized I’d forgotten how to “people.” I’d forgotten how to talk with people who were going to see you every single day. I was awkward and weird, and over shared, and cried at everything.
It was really difficult to adjust back to being part of society.
I still have days where I feel like I’m a fish out of water, or that my accommodations are too much, or that I’m dead weight.
What we are now experiencing, as a whole world, is that isolation that nearly breaks a person. But we are seeing it on a grand scale. We are afraid of what the virus means for our health, our finances, our jobs. We yearn for human contact and it’s only day four. We have three weeks of no school here, as of this point. Three weeks of no work.
Who knows how long before it’s safe to go grocery shopping, if I catch any illness it can be devastating to my body, and the local healthcare system is not equipped to manage my care AND our sudden influx of coronavirus. My husband and one of our daughters have the same condition, adrenal insufficiency. The flu, strep, food poisoning, all can wipe us out.
So for us, others with compromised immune systems, and those over 65 years old, we do not know how long this isolation will last.
The internet is amazing for connectivity. We can call, video chat, follow social media, but none of this makes up for the in person socialization most of us crave.
I’m an introvert and I still need people time!
I’m sure this isolation won’t last three years, like my illness caused for me. But for people who aren’t used to this, it’s sure going to feel like it…
What happens when we emerge back into the world, forever changed by our time apart? Will we remember how to be together? Will we remember that the body in front of us houses a real person with real feelings?
Will we be awkward and strange, or will we beam with joy and let the love overflow?
Who knows.
But I want everyone to think about how we come out of this. Social isolation is no joke. It’s hard core and difficult and stressful. It will test your resolve, it will feed your depression, and it will beat you down.
So please, find a lifeline. Find a way to keep yourself grounded through all this. Find a way to protect your heart and your humanity.
And remember, we may be isolated, but we are isolated together.
*cross posted on Spoons and Adrenals
Corona Can't Keep Me Down 