Quarantine Log Day 62

I saw a meme today talking about how some folks wonder when stores and restaurants will open back up, but others wonder when grandparents do…

In talking with a friend about it, I realized that it isn’t just a joke. It’s real, this loss of family time. I feel like time with my parents, my grandad, has been stolen from us. My children don’t see their grandparents. And while I made a joke about wanting some kid free time, I realized that the best thing about this experience for me is the forced time with my kids.

You see, feeling like my own parents have been taken from me, even if only temporarily, it makes me feel like holding on even more tightly to my own kids.

A few years ago, I was forced into being a stay at home mom due to chronic illness. It was something I’d always dreaded. I worked hard to finish college, to become a teacher, and I’d always loved working. Throughout college, I often worked more than one job and attended school full time.

While I always loved my kids, I craved the time away from them to recharge as an adult. It made the time I had with them a little sweeter. But it also turned out that when I had too much time with the kids, I got overwhelmed quickly. I may be a teacher, but most definitely not preschool age! Kids are so precious and wonderful at that age, but oh so needy, and I was beginning to decline in health, and it was overwhelming.

Six months ago, I started a job. Part time, but it was odd because one of the things I’d worried about was leaving behind the kids. After two years home with them, we had built up our relationship and I didn’t want to leave. It took a long time to find our groove again.

Now, we face the prospect of home schooling next year, and while I’m a tad nervous about taking on that kind of responsibility, I’m also really excited about the opportunity to hold on to my kids a little bit better, a little bit longer…

The truth is, I’m really happy at home. Do I miss being able to go out to dinner? Sure. I miss going to see friends, and I even miss Girl Scout meetings, which are always the most beautiful kind of chaos. I miss going to see my Grandad and knowing it’s safe to hug him. And I miss hugging my parents, and sitting beside my mom with coffee.

But I absolutely love this time with my kids.

I really want this covid-19 bull to go away. I want people to be healthy, I want folks to have reliable employment, and I want to stop fighting over whether or not people are willing to wear a mask to keep others safe.

I hope, though, that we will hold on more tightly to the good relationships in our lives.

My heart breaks for anyone who is stuck in an unsafe situation, the closeness of quarters for some people is terrifying for them. I’m so blessed to not be one of those people.

I’m so grateful for my family.

And tomorrow, we get a kitten… 🐈

End transmission.